When It’s Time To Replace That Thing

My son and his wife were in a car accident on their way to work yesterday morning. He called at 6:21am, and left me a voicemail. I called back 10 minutes later, and he was just talking with the police and paramedics. They were a little banged-up, but nothing serious enough, thankfully, for an ambulance ride.

No matter how old your kid gets, these phone calls are scary.

The police cited the other driver; the paramedics, fire, police left – and so did the truck with my son’s totaled car in tow. He and his wife had to go to work – too many commitments – so they made their way, and got in late.

Now the fun begins. Life is going along, then, bam!, something happens. You have to change your routine, time and money you didn’t plan on spending, and you just simply move ahead and adapt.

Most of us have been through a car accident and survived just fine. Even though not serious, it changes routines. We become more vigilant, irritated, inconvenienced, and have to pay out in time and money that is always so limited.

What was working just fine for my son – his car – now must be replaced.

Yeah, I know, it’s just a thing, but hang in there for a minute or two. . .

His car was 11 years old, looked and worked great, low mileage, didn’t need anything other than regular maintenance, and he didn’t have a car payment.

So what was a gem for him by all standards, isn’t worth much on the market. He’ll get his check from the insurance company, and most likely for the money, won’t find something as good as he was driving.

Therein lies the issue.

We have stuff, systems, processes – that have been working just fine, then bam!, something happens and we have to change. Adapt to something new. Make an investment.

Then there’s the time, and the cost, and the inconvenience of all that change.

Sometimes you don’t have a choice.

The irony in this was my son got a rental car, covered by insurance until he finds a replacement. Brand new rental car and he said, “wow, it’s so nice.”

Status quo is fine. I love predictability. But there comes a time where what was working stops working. It can be a catastrophic event, or simply a slow decline. At some point there is that bam! moment.

That’s when you take stock of everyone – you ask them, “are you alright?”

Then you construct your plan to move ahead. Replace the old system and map new routes. We find out that with the new stuff in place, we too say, “wow, that’s so nice!”

We can’t prepare for everything, but we can put ourselves in a place that when the unplanned happens, we have the tools to deal with it.

And, you can always call mom.

Lip Service

This is a post about acting concerned and pretending to take action – when in fact it’s all just appearances.

Follow-through is, sadly, an amazingly absent thing these days. Posting on social media doesn’t make it all okay.

I wrote about my little issue with UPS and their very long-visit-every-city-like-it's-a-reunion-tour delivery of my grandson’s birthday gift. I posted on Twitter with a picture of the tracking history, and a very nice rep from UPS responded via Twitter – very concerned. I needed to contact help via email – which I did.

Ancient history, the gift arrived – late – but it arrived. All done. Right?

The Tweet heard around the world. Sort of.

Well my daughter, Lindsey, in Louisville, bought a coffee table online and it was shipped via UPS, she tweeted to me her tracking record, which had a few entries and stated her concern that I may have jinxed her. I responded back with “you think that’s bad, take a load of this” and posted the final tracking of my delivery.

For the record, I do not possess magical powers to jinx anyone. UPS does fine on its own.

Lindsey's puny tracking history.

Because of our Iittle public exchange on Twitter (and the fact that both of us used @UPS) I got another response from UPS, very concerned, telling me to contact Help.

My Very Impressive Tracking History. 

The problem is, is that their Help department isn’t. And my issue was old news.

So, they may have this awesomely concerned presence on Twitter, it just isn’t reality. And besides that, they aren’t really reading the content. My issue was done. Over. Delivered.

What in the heck was Help going to do? Good for you! Your package arrived!

What bothers me is the fact that the folks monitoring Twitter are a world apart from the folks answering email at the Help Desk.

This is a company that clearly doesn’t have its act together. Is it because they’re too big? Too disorganized? Or perhaps it’s because they know they need a Twitter presence, they’ve probably had a Help Desk since the phone was invented, and they have never even considered that the two should be linked.

The folks following Twitter respond almost immediately, and the Help Desk is the same, lame, do-nothing entity it has always been.

This is about customer service. And customer service at its most rudimentary does some sort of follow-up.

But instead, I get lip service – which is the hallmark of lazy, out-of-touch businesses run by the smartest guys in the room. They’re clueless as to what’s going on with their product in the public market.

So, yeah, I can bring this back to Advertising, Marketing – any business: find out what your customer experience is. You don’t need a focus group. Just ask your employees what they hear and see from their customers Every Day.

 If you’re not paying attention (aka listening) someone will come along and simply do what you do – better. 

Making The World Better One Consulting Gig At A Time

I have a niche of sorts. I work specifically with advertising agencies and marketing departments to make things a little better, run smoother, to be more efficient, and maybe make the workplace world a little less tension-filled.

I don’t work the creative-side (I don’t play designer, but I’ve been one so I know when to butt-out), I work on the operational-side. That’s the part that’s really uninteresting and ignored by most in a creative environment, but the foundation of keeping an agency moving along and making money.

I help by doing what most owners / managers never think of: I ask the staff what works and what doesn’t. I ask them what they would do to make things run just a little better. The staff always has ideas. Good ones.

I ask the questions because owners and managers simply don’t. Then I ask the owners and managers what they think the issues are. Then we start mapping out the repairs.

The answers, in my world, always come down to Process, Tools and People. 

So, I’ve been watching The Profit. Marcus Limonis is the guy with the checkbook and a plan to turn around failing businesses. I’m not in his league, but I get what he does. He is never a consultant, he is a business partner, and he takes significant equity in the businesses he helps. They make money. He makes money.

Limonis’ trinity is People, Process, Product.

I get it, if it’s a crappy product, then there’s no amount of the other two that will help. But it’s a package – his package. And it makes sense. He’s doling-out the dough. And he’s successful.

As far as product goes, I don’t mess with the creative, because that’s a specialty filled to the brim with available talent. Hire great talent and give them a viable environment to create.

Now, I’m not in the position to buy into your agency, I am a consultant, and I work with the staff and management to break down my trinity of: Process, Tools and People.

I may not be an owner in your business, but I feel a huge responsibility in taking the necessary measures to make your agency better.

For any creative environment, there are tons of tools (software, apps) that are good / bad, are applicable / irrelevant to managing the day-to-day activities. Those tools which Mr. Limonis includes in process – I separate.  Why? Because the tools must meet the specific criteria as to how you do work. And . . . they must be setup and customized so it makes sense to everyone who uses them.

Process needs to be defined. It needs structure. A lot of tools out there help define the structure. That is why agencies and marketers usually decide that software will solve their problems. Fix the agency. But there’s more to the solution. . .

Now we get to the people part. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said a million times, the best tools and processes don’t fix bad employees – or management.

Bickering, undermining, personal agendas, drama of any kind, will kill any business. Limonis won’t put his money up against a company run by a bunch of fighting idiots. He just walks. Then the business dies.

So why do you have your employees, your cash put up against that same crap? Time to change.

I’m willing to do the work, if you’re willing to do the work.

If you really care about your agency, department, or that awesome title you’ve finally achieved – and the salary that goes with it – then push your denial, ego, and opinions down and start listening. Trust me when I say this: if there are problems in your agency or department, others see it. If you don’t fix it, someone else will, and I guarantee you won’t like the outcome.

So at the very least, quit ignoring issues. Ask your staff what needs to be fixed – and listen. Then take action.

Your agency or department can be fixed. Really. It can be a place that is inspiring, hectic, massively creative, and, yes, even fun. You don’t have to give up equity to get there. Call me. 

Expectations

Held hostage in Hodgkins.

UPS = 1   Gramma* = 0

I preach expectations. That’s why, in advertising and marketing, we set expectations so that we deliver, at the very least, what the client needs (wants is in there too), the agency makes money, and everyone keeps their jobs that they actually like.

Expectations come with responsibility on everyone’s part to pony-up and do what’s, uh, expected of them.

How do they know those expectations, you ask?

We have agreements. Agreements in the form of a SOW or Job Order, Estimate and a Timeline. We agree to give our client great work (beyond good), for a specific price, delivered by a specific date. Those agreements are shared with the team, and we go about our day - meeting expectations.

How hard is that?

So we have people and tools in place to ensure all that happens. Account, Creative and Project Managers (yeah, it takes a village). We document, create, track costs, set interim due dates – all of that structure so our little company (and the client’s) continues to exist.

So imagine a Great Big Company like UPS with their Big Tool called Logistics doesn’t meet expectations. What happens to them? Usually not much. Well, apparently they do get in trouble if someone in Washington doesn’t get their holiday package on time. But that was last year so I’m sure they learned something.

However, today isn’t the holidays, there isn’t a surge of shipping, there isn’t bad weather, and I didn’t order late.

I ordered my grandson’s birthday gift on time, paid my money and checked for the anticipated delivery date – which at the latest, would have been delivered in time for the Big Day.

Simple – expectations.

Now that I’m dealing with the eerie coincidence that once I complained via Twitter for the World to see, my package stalled in Hodgkins, Illinois. I guess I must be okay with the fact that my grandson at least got his birthday card, delivered by the US Postal Service. It got there on Tuesday.

So, yeah, it’s all about expectations. Because when you tell me you’re going to do something and we have a clear deadline, and then don’t deliver, I don’t want to hear, “I appreciate your patience.”

Patience does not apply to missed deadlines. Or a birthday gift held hostage in Hodgkins.

*I like Gramma better. 

Gramma Isn't Happy

Or maybe, this should be called . . .

This is Gavin. Yep, he's cool. He also deserves his Awesome Tonka Truck for his Birthday.

“Use Twitter to let companies know they underperform because Help doesn’t get it.”

Okay, on occasion I take to this blog to write about something non-advertising-related. And this is one of those times. My grandson, Gavin’s, birthday present is late.

Yes, it’s worthy of a post. You’ve been there, I’m sure.

He isn’t going to get his gift on time.

I love Amazon.com. I buy books and gifts for my grandkids (I know, it’s stupefying to believe that I have grandchildren). And everything gets shipped directly to them. Easy. As. Pie.

It works out nicely, because if I ship to my house (I have Prime so it’s free), I have to pay sales tax, and then I have to repackage and pay more to ship to the grandkids. Besides, it leaves a big carbon footprint, or something like that, with all that driving around by UPS and extra packaging and stuff. It’s plenty warm in Las Vegas already, thank you very much.

So I ordered this awesome Tonka Tow Truck. Little boys should always have a Tonka Truck of some kind. Metal. Sharp edges. Stands up to the elements. Gavin lives in OR – E – GUN. Officially spelled OREGON. (It's relevant - read on.)

I’ve been tracking the package, because this IS for his Birthday.

Here’s the route as of today.

So I did what any normal Gramma with a sense of self-righteousness and a Twitter account would do – I tweeted.

I got a fast response from UPS via Twitter.

I followed their instructions to contact Help.

I got another fast response from UPS via email.

I answered them back.

They answered back with a wholly uninspired answer.

Uh, sorry. Guess that’s the way it is.

A little dissatisfied with the response, I did what seemed to be the very logical next step. I took to Twitter again. Then the folks at UPS asked me for my email address.

Well, you get the idea.

So right now my email and Twitter are ringing off the hook (if they were phones and we were living in 1970).

So I got a Twitter response via email. Huh? And, where the heck is UPS located? The timestamp puts them somewhere in Portugal. Oh well.

My point is, I guess: you just have to take to Twitter to get noticed. “Help” certainly was responsive but un-help-ful.

And my second point, more important than my first complainy point: Christmas is coming. UPS, get it together because I order from Amazon.com and I am not ready to place my Christmas order quite yet.

So, yeah, this really does come down to Advertising. I just saw a whole bunch of ads last night about UPS Logistics. (Actually one spot, run a gazillion times – great media buy, by the way, can’t you rotate just a couple of spots to make it more interesting?) 

"Get good" is the line in the spot.

Awesome, but I want to get it in time for Gavin’s birthday. He deserves it.

The end.

"Ignorance More Frequently Begets Confidence Than Does Knowledge"

No, this isn't a "when life gives you lemons" moment.

~Charles Darwin

Dunning and Kruger proposed that, for a given skill, incompetent people will:

1. Tend to overestimate their own level of skill
2. Fail to recognize genuine skill in others
3. Fail to recognize the extremity of their inadequacy
4. Do recognize and acknowledge their own previous lack of skill, if they are exposed to training for that skill

Therein lies the problem. We have leaders – managers, directors, Veeps, C-level folks, owners – in our agencies and marketing departments who have experience, serious credentials and perhaps an impressive education behind them who know more than we do. But ignorant on how anything gets done in the office - and incompetent because they may have never had to do what you do.

So, can they do your job?

Probably not.

Why? Because a) they don’t know what your job is, b) they actually don’t know how to do your job, and c) they didn’t care until today (á la Ken Lay)…

Then there’s some huge, expensive mistake; profits have gone down the tubes; or there’s a whole lotta bitching going on. No matter how much you rearrange the office (Titanic anyone?) to create serendipity for that kumbaya moment, no one is happy and things just aren’t working.

Then management starts messing with the flow. [Tend to overestimate their own level of skill]

They confidently ride in on their trusty steed and sabre drawn – ready to apply rash decisions and big old Band-Aids to the mistakes; cuts in perks/benefits/staff to ameliorate mounting Red Ink; and my personal favorite, new process, tools – or worse – an organizational behavior consultant to assuage the bloodshed.

And everything turns to crap.

Sorry.

What did management fail to do?

Take the pulse of the staff. Ask the simple, obvious questions: what’s working and not working? [Fail to recognize genuine skill in others]

You don’t set sail without a map, compass and these days, GPS. And certainly not without a skilled crew.

So why on this Earth would management make all these decisions without a simple query and just a little bit of background? Because they are smarter than everyone else. They’ve read all the articles about the latest management trends – from Kaizen to Holacracy – and they are knowledgeable because, since it's in the pages of Forbes or Wired:  It. Will. Fix. Everything. [Fail to recognize the extremity of their inadequacy]

Yes, knowledge is power. No, I’m not saying management is stupid – or incompetent. (Some individuals are though, and they should go, post-haste.)

But management very often is ignorant of what it takes to get that stuff that you do – done. And they’re very likely incompetent when it comes to something like developing a serious spreadsheet – with all those fancy formulas, Photoshop miracles on their corporate mug shot, or writing code for a new app. They have you to do that.

People, you are stuck with your managers, so offer-up some help.

When things aren’t going well, errors made, general animosity in the office – I’ll bet you recognize it well before management acknowledges it.

You have skin in this game. If management doesn’t know what’s going on and you see problems, make them aware. And more than that, come up with a couple ideas for solutions. At least you are making an effort to fix the problems. Management just might thank you. [Do recognize and acknowledge their own previous lack of skill, if they are exposed to training for that skill]

If management chooses to blissfully go on their way and ditch your ideas, you have a couple options: either sit back and watch the implosion or get your resume tuned-up and out to prospective employers.

Now excuse me while I put on my invisibility cloak of lemon juice.

We're Lucky If We Can Get People To Do Their Timesheets

Sister Mary Catherine and her team of expert PMs are here to make sure you do your timesheets. Daily.

What?

I can't believe what I heard at conference. 

A job gets opened, you do the work, then it gets billed. You go to work, then you get paid.

In order to bill that job so you can get paid, someone probably did an estimate – which the client approved. Then you got the parameters of the project, and then off you went!

You worked a bunch of hours this day and that, maybe you worked on the project for a week solid. Plus overtime.

Sometime a week or a month (shame on management for allowing this) later, you are scrambling (and bitching) about getting timesheets done.

It takes for-ever. Why do we have to do timesheets?

Oh, it’s the end of the month and the agency has to do billing.

Because the agency needs cash flow.

The agency needs cash flow so they can pay you. They’re required to.

The problem is, you don’t remember exactly what you did and when. So maybe you go through email, or your notes, and you come up with an idea of what you think you did on the project.

I’ll bet you are way off. I'll bet you filled your required 8 hours per day. Because you're on salary - even though it actually took you 12 hour days. Hmm.

Why is this a problem? Because the estimate the client agreed to probably doesn’t match the hours you posted. Then the billing folks adjust the time.

Or worse – you’re on the hot-seat because you’re constantly over on hours. And that doesn't even count the hours you didn't post. It actually took a lot more time than anyone knows.

No record of reality.

The agency is losing tons of revenue because of you.

You are choosing to give away your raise.

Bottom line: if we don’t know exactly (or as close as possible) how many hours you are spending on a particular project, we will continually estimate incorrectly; the client will continually expect the same level of service for the same price – and the client will continue to make changes because they never seem to get billed for all those hours.

Do you work for free? Nope.

Do your timesheets. Every. Day.  

Are they a giant pain? I’ll bet the system you’re using is actually very easy. You just have to quit whining, open the program and click a box.

Wow. That’s not so hard. Try it for a week. You'll be surprised at the free time you'll have at month-end. To do more billable work. 

Wow, I see a bonus coming.

I’m currently attending the Advantage User’s Group Conference at Red  Rock Casino in sunny Las Vegas.

Advantage has awesome tools that make time entry super easy. Having a hard time with timesheet compliance? Call me.

I am the PM second from the left.